Annie’s Mailbox: Maybe marriage too confining for him

Dear Annie: I have never been married, but would love to be. I have been with my boyfriend for nine years, and we have two children. We live together, share finances, bills, everything.

We separated for nearly a year because he refused to marry me. When we got back together, he told me to give him time and maybe he’d come around. I do love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. He says it’s just a piece of paper, but it is important to me to have that legal title. He knew this from the beginning.

He says he wants to be with me forever, so why won’t he make it legal? Is it me? Should I give up? – Not Marriage Material

Dear Marriage: We don’t know why your boyfriend refuses to marry you after all this time, but some men find marriage too ideologically confining. Unless you are willing to leave him, the situation is not likely to change. However, in some states, living together for nine years would constitute a common-law marriage with certain legal protections. You should check into it.

Dear Annie: “Desperate in Pennsylvania” asked about a clicking noise when she swallows. If the sound is originating from the neck, this could represent contact between her thyroid cartilage and hyoid bone, or between her hyoid bone and styloid process. If the sound is originating in her ear, it could be coming from the cartilage portion of the eustachian tube when the attached muscles contract during swallowing.

She should be able to have the source diagnosed by an otolaryngologist (ear, nose and throat specialist). – Douglas Hetzler, M.D., FACS, Department of Otolaryngology, Palo Alto Medical Foundation, Santa Cruz, Calif.

Dear Dr. Hetzler: Thank you. Some of our readers have complained that we are printing too much on this subject, so they’ll be happy to know this is the last one. We appreciate all the expert opinions and hope they prove helpful.