Jon says it’s Kate minus 8

Jon Gosselin is suing ex-wife Kate Gosselin for primary custody of their eight children, claiming her role on “Dancing With the Stars” has turned her into an absentee mom.

He says her participation in the smash ABC dance competition show has led her to delegate most child-rearing responsibilities to three nannies.

“Without a doubt, she’s an absentee parent,” said Jon, who’s also asking for a review of his $21,000-per-month child support obligation.

Kate Gosselin’s attorney, Mark Momjian, called the allegation “patently false.”

“It’s deplorable to make a comment like that,” Momjian said. “I know Kate Gosselin is all about her children, and she’s always been about her children.”

Their divorce was final in December, a month after “Jon & Kate Plus 8” ended its TV run.

An ex-couple of real twits

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy have taken to Twitter to announce their breakup.

The two actors each tweeted Tuesday that they have ended their relationship after five years.

Carrey said he wishes McCarthy “the very best!” while she “will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart.”

What, no black velvet?

A large portrait of Michael Jackson dressed in a red velvet jacket and clutching a journal went up for auction Wednesday on eBay with a minimum starting bid of $2.75 million.

“The Book,” by Australian artist Brett-Livingstone Strong, is reportedly the only painting for which the King of Pop posed.

The birthday bunch

Comedian Shecky Greene is 84. Original Mouseketeer Darlene Gillespie is 69. Singer Peggy Lennon (the Lennon Sisters) is 69. Singer-actor John Schneider is 50. Singer Julian Lennon is 47. Rapper Biz Markie is 46. Actress Robin Wright Penn is 44. Actress Patricia Arquette is 42. Actor Taran Noah Smith (“Home Improvement”) is 26.