How we deal with mistakes can bond or sever relationships

The way a company responds when they make a mistake often sets the tone for how a problem is resolved. But what about how a customer reacts when the company goofs? Sometimes that part of the reaction is more important.

I keep talking in this space about unreasonable customers, but a lesson I was taught by a friend made me realize just how much influence the client really has on the situation.

For years I have been making simple airline reservations online for my dear friend Betty. Known to many as Betty the Barber, she is not a computer user, so I help her out with my fare-finding skills when she travels. We do lots of nice things for one another, have shared adventures too numerous to name and held each other’s hands through deaths, aging parents, dating and menopause. So there is a whole lot of history here, allowing a fair amount of forgiveness when one of us is unkind or careless. But I recently pushed the limits.

Betty took a trip to Panama with another friend who now lives in Bremerton. They flew different airlines, one to the east coast, one south. I worked hard to arrange Betty’s arrival close to her companion’s so one or the other was not stuck waiting in the Panama airport. And to make it more interesting, they were both getting on a boat that same day to head to an island for the retreat.

Teresa, the Bremerton friend, called me during her return trip, when she landed in Newark, N.J. That was a bit odd, but I was happy to hear from her, until she told me why she was calling. You see, I had booked Betty’s return trip for March 12, not Feb. 12. Worse, the Feb. 12 flight out of Panama was booked, and the airline operates only two flights a week out of the country. To make things even more exciting, it was carnival in Panama, and accommodations were booked solid. Teresa told me Betty was sharing a room in Panama with another retreat attendee, so she would be OK. But when she could get a flight home was a big question.

I felt about two inches tall. Great, I had stranded my dear friend in Panama; she had clients on Monday and needed to get back. I had a phone number where she was staying and kept calling. They spoke Spanish. I know just enough to make them think I am fluent, and that made the person on the other end talk faster, thinking I understood. I didn’t, and they never could connect me to Betty. In fact, I wasn’t sure she was really there. Of course, I began fearing she had been kidnapped by bandits and smuggled to South America!

Finally, we connected and talked. She would return two days late, spending a lovely night in the Seattle airport. But so like Betty, she met a friendly cab driver and two fishermen from California, had dinner with them and was making the best of her extra time, including a trip to see the canal. No wonder she is my friend.

But she could not wait four days for the airline to get her back, so she flew another carrier – and the cost of that return flight was more that the entire vacation. So just how much hassle and money did my mistake cause? More important, how much stupidity can one friendship withstand? This is when I started thinking about how customers respond when a business makes a mistake. They could all learn something from Betty.

After I fell all over myself apologizing, she said:

•You did not do this on purpose just to antagonize me; it was just a mistake.

•I should have noticed the return date before I left; you gave me the paperwork.

•You did this as a favor, and I appreciate it and should learn how to use a computer.

•While it was touch and go there for a bit, no harm was done.

Wow, if only clients would take some of this attitude when a mistake happens, our jobs as BBB resolution experts and business owners sure would be easier.

She did say, “Jan, I thought you liked me, but I guess you just wanted me out of the country.” I told her I like her, but just enough for 11 months a year.