Hard to watch friend have affair

Dear Annie: My husband cheated on me. My best friend saw me through the emotional pain and the divorce. Now this same friend is having an affair with a married man.

She refuses to listen to me when I remind her how much my husband’s affair hurt. I can barely stand to be near her, but I also don’t think I can handle losing both my husband and best friend in the same year. What should I do? – Alone and Lonely

Dear Alone: Your friend is in love and not rational. You may need to avoid her for a while, so consider this an opportunity to get involved in new activities and expand your social circle. Check your parks district, community center and the Chamber of Commerce. Sign up for some computer classes. Take tango lessons. Volunteer at the local children’s hospital or animal shelter. Make yourself busy enough to focus on what’s good in your life instead of what isn’t.

Dear Annie: As a widow who still misses her husband desperately, I would like to respond to “Still Miss Him,” who resents that her mother remarried after Dad died.

Does she believe her late father was so selfish as to want to deny Mom a chance at some happiness? Mom’s decision to marry is not about Dad. He is out of the competition. The contest is between living with his memory and living with a live spouse.

As a person who has been widowed for five years, it is no contest. I would not compare the new spouse to the deceased, only to the prospect of continued widowhood. An undertaker once told me that it is the widowed with happy marriages who choose to remarry. – Widowhood Stinks