Take checkbook duty from MIL

Dear Annie: My mother-in-law has a heart of gold and always tries to help out – even when it is not welcome.

My husband is in the military, and I’m a stay-at-home mom. When he leaves on deployment, his mother takes charge of his bills and decides how much of an allowance I get for groceries, gas, etc.

I have told my husband that I would like him to give me control of my own house. I know he tells his mother this, but she either won’t listen or doesn’t understand. I have no idea how to talk to her about this, and his next deployment is in a couple of months. Any suggestions? – Overwhelmed Daughter-in-Law

Dear Overwhelmed: How does his mother get access to his bills? Are his paychecks coming to her? Since talking to Mom doesn’t help, your husband must set things up so that his income and household bills come directly to you. If you are living with Mom, he can open a post office box or have you pay some of the bills online. Unless, of course, the money for these bills is coming out of Mom’s pocket. In that case, she has every right to manage the household and give you an allowance.

Dear Annie: My dad is in his 70s and is way past obese. He is so big, he becomes breathless walking from one room to another.

Mom says she tries to control his food intake during the year, but he continues to get bigger and bigger. I think he is being very selfish by doing nothing to help himself. – Son of a Portly Pop

Dear Son: Dad should first see his doctor. Perhaps Mom would be willing to talk to a nutritionist about healthy meals. You also can suggest that one of you ask Dad to come on a slow, short walk after dinner to encourage him to move a little bit more. But if none of this works, it serves no purpose to be angry, because stress will only make it worse. Right now, this is the best he can do.