Is there a Couch Slouch jinx? Rivera may think so

Two years ago, with the baseball season one-quarter over, I wrote that the Yankees’ Mariano Rivera might go all of 2008 without giving up a run.

He gave up a run the day after my column appeared.

Now, in 2010, with the baseball season nearly one-quarter over, Rivera again had a 0.00 ERA entering the weekend. And there I was on Sunday – because I tend to make the same mistake over and over – finishing up a column declaring Rivera might not give up a run all year.

And what happens? Moments before I send my priceless words around the world, Rivera allows a bases-loaded walk – he hadn’t done that since 2005 – and a grand slam – he hadn’t done that since 2002 – to blow a game against the Twins.

So this time he gives up a run the day before my column appears.

Still, Rivera is the best player of his generation and arguably – with the exception of Babe Ruth* – the greatest Yankee of them all. So I’m sticking to my story.

*-Speaking of Babe Ruth, I have some unfinished 20th-century business to tend to. The Bambino and Jim Thorpe had unparalleled athletic careers; unfortunately for them, they competed pre-ESPN. Alas, in 1999 ESPN declared Michael Jordan – who might not even be the best NBA player ever – the greatest athlete of the century. Fiddlesticks! Ah, but like they say, you can’t fight city hall and you can’t fight ESPN.

Rivera’s feats are more impressive in the backdrop of the steroids era. Forever clean, he’s faced a chorus line of chemically induced hitters. His own team was a pharmaceutical wasteland – in the 2008 Mitchell Report, 20 current or former Yankees were linked to performance-enhancing drugs; Rivera is not even linked to so much as a box of Frosted Flakes.

He essentially throws one pitch, a cut fastball; this echoes the genius of Colonel Sanders, who essentially cooked one dish.

As Rivera pitches toward history, it’s amazing to think he turned 40 last November.

(Another ageless tale of baseball wonder in 2010 is the Phillies’ 47-year-old junk baller Jamie Moyer, who just became the oldest player to pitch a shutout. His fastball is clocked at maybe 80 mph; his changeup is clocked at “it’s on its way.” They don’t even use a radar gun to gauge the speed of his pitches; rather, they count how many seconds it takes for the ball to reach the plate.)

(At the other end of the wonder spectrum is 21-year-old whiz Stephen Strasburg, the Nationals’ prospect pitching at Triple-A Syracuse. He throws 99-mph fastballs and has created a new fan phenomenon: They come to watch him and only him. As soon as he’s out of the game, they’re out of the game. The lone way to keep the fans in the stands would be if Strasburg were relieved by, say, Elvis Presley, but that’s probably a blown save opportunity waiting to happen.)

Rivera’s career numbers are staggering. He’s second all-time in saves to Trevor Hoffman, converting 89.4 percent of his chances (533 of 596). His career ERA is 2.23. He’s never had more than two wild pitches in a year and, in the last eight seasons, he’s had a total of three wild pitches.

Rivera’s postseason stats are even more overpowering. He holds records for most saves (34), most consecutive save opportunities converted (23), most consecutive scoreless innings (341/3) and lowest ERA (a mind-boggling 0.74).

Take away Rivera and you literally might take away the Yankees’ five World Series titles over the last 14 years.

Still, as he’s gotten older, speculation lingers that his throwing shoulder’s health is waning and that he’s lost his fastball; the same type of criticism dogged Michelangelo late in his sculpting career.

Yet Rivera just gets better. Since 2008, he’s converted 90 of 94 save opportunities (uh, before Sunday, he was 90 of 93). He’s still the greatest relief pitcher ever. And I am here to tell you Mariano Rivera will not give up a run the rest of the year.

Of course, if he gives up another run tomorrow, I never wrote this column.

Ask The Slouch

Q. If Brian Cushing has a bonus clause in his contract for winning the NFL defensive rookie-of-the- year award, does he now get paid the bonus twice? (Tom Johnson; Delmar, N.Y.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

Q. Since the Yankees played a 2:15 game against the Tigers, can they roll over the unused minutes when they play the Red Sox? (John Serapilio; Clifton Park, N.Y.)

A. Pay this smart gent, too.

Q. I’m 40, left-handed and nap during baseball games. Looks like Ken Griffey Jr. and I have a lot in common. (Dave Winegar; Spokane)

A. Not in the form of a question, but I’m authorizing Shirley to pay the man.

Q. Complete games are rare in baseball – and, apparently, newspapers. Your columns are always one-third readers’ questions and they close your writings. Do your editors have you on a word count? (Wm. Tracy Freeman; Sugar Land, Texas)

A. Who knew some wiseacre from Sugar Land would be my Mariano Rivera?