Dear Annie: I just turned 50 and have been divorced for the past seven years. I recently moved in with “Duke,” whom I met a year ago.
Duke’s job requires a lot of traveling, and lately, things don’t seem right between us. Women call his cell phone frequently, and he won’t answer when he’s with me. He says they are co-workers and he doesn’t need to speak to them. But I also found lewd text messages from women and naked pictures of them on his phone. His son also told me that Duke is online a lot, talking to different women in our area.
I confronted Duke about what I found and told him I can no longer trust him. I also stupidly admitted I checked his phone, and he tried to turn it around and claim he can’t trust me either because I snooped.
Duke says he loves me, but if that’s true, he wouldn’t be doing these things behind my back. I do not plan for this relationship to go any further (meaning marriage), but I’m not sure what I ought to do. Should I continue to live with the lies and deception and go out and have fun myself, or should I find a place of my own? I think I know the answer, but would like your opinion. – Hurt in Florida
Dear Hurt: You should absolutely find a place of your own. Duke is not trustworthy and has no intention of changing his behavior. There is no future or contentment in this relationship unless you need a roommate to help pay the rent, in which case, you should have separate bedrooms and separate lives. Sorry.
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