He won’t discuss finances with wife

Dear Annie: “Ed” and I have been married for six months. He is a wonderful husband in every way except one: He refuses to discuss our financial situation with me. I know nothing about the mortgage payments, utility bills or insurance. I don’t even know Ed’s salary at his high-level government job. I have repeatedly asked him to sit down with me and talk about these matters, but he says, “Some other time,” and it never happens.

I have a part-time job that does not pay a great deal, although I have told Ed I’d like to contribute toward our expenses. He brushed that idea aside, saying whatever I earn is mine to spend as I see fit. I spend some of my money on groceries and household items, but it doesn’t matter to Ed.

My friends tell me I am lucky to have a husband who takes care of all the bills. But I feel like a kept woman and not an equal partner in the marriage. I have no reason to believe Ed is involved in anything shady or that we are in debt. What do you suppose is going on? – Left in the Dark

Dear Left: By keeping you in the dark, Ed controls the money in your relationship. This is unfair and potentially dangerous. Don’t let him be evasive. Ask him for a specific date to go over your finances, mark it on the calendar and remind him. Write down all your questions so you don’t forget anything. If he still avoids discussing it with you or treats you as if you have no right to know, tell him it seems suspicious and is undermining your trust in him. Next stop: a counselor or a lawyer.