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Annie’s Mailbox: Senior couple grapple with sex

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar Kathy Mitchell

Dear Annie: How old do men have to be to quit having sex? My husband is 82, and I am 80, and the only thing on his mind is having sex two to three times a week. I have lost all my desire for sex. I’ve grown to hate it. He says women don’t lose their desire and I must have something wrong with me. I say he is oversexed. He watches porn and reads sex magazines. This is the only thing we argue about. Is he oversexed, or am I abnormal? – Lost All My Desire in Chicago

Dear Chicago: Neither. Some men never lose their desire, but it is quite common (and natural) for women to lose interest in sex after menopause. The problem is not only that you have incompatible sexual needs. It’s how the two of you are handling the issue. Your husband’s demands are excessive for you, and his harebrained ideas about a woman’s libido are guaranteed to make you angry and unwilling. Ask him to come to your next doctor’s appointment and discuss this, and see if you can reach a compromise that takes both your needs into account.

Dear Annie: Tell “Beleaguered Mom” it is not Grandma’s job to babysit. It is Grandma’s job to develop a relationship with her grandson that is special to the two of them. Being a grandmother should not be work. Since when did we assume grandparents should be fill-in parents in order to make life more enjoyable for the children we already raised? – Grandma in Pennsylvania

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.
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