Maybe regifting should get a second look

If you’ve ever gone to an estate sale you’ve probably seen what I used to call “grandmother” gifts. Pretty handkerchiefs, gowns, perfume, books or other mementoes that were still in the original gift box. They were considered special because of the giver, but were either not practical enough or “too good” for everyday use. So, too often, the gifts were put in a closet or dresser drawer and left there until the recipient moved out or died. As a mother, I understand. The gift is a tender reminder of the giver. But when you think about it, what a waste. How nice it would have been if the gift had either been used and appreciated or passed along to someone who could use it. But, of course, that would be re-gifting wouldn’t it. And everybody talks about a re-gifter. When my children were small, I kept a gift closet. When it was time for a quick gift or a little something extra was needed to tuck into a birthday present, I opened the closet and let the children poke around in it. Most of the things on the shelves were odds and ends that I had received as party favors or as a token of appreciation after speaking to a group. Most were things like scented candles and lotions. I am sensitive to many powerful scents and can’t burn the candles or use the lotions or bath salts. But what a waste to put them away and never use them simply because it would be considered rude to pass them along. Sometimes, I picked up things on sale and added them to the closet and when my children went “shopping,” they usually found something nice to wrap and give as a gift. When the children chose something from the gift closet, I tried to make sure the gift didn’t find its way back to the person who’d given it to me, but, if that had ever been the case, I wouldn’t have minded explaining just why I’d passed it along. After all, I’d been grateful for their thoughtfulness, but simply hadn’t been able to use the gift. This time of year re-gifting is always an etiquette topic. Should we or shouldn’t we? None of us wants to hurt feelings, but it seems a shame to simply throw away what could be enjoyed by another.