Couple can’t get sex life in sync

Dear Annie: I’ve been married for 18 years to the most wonderful man. It was obvious from the beginning that my sex drive was much higher than his. He was fine being intimate once every two months, and I preferred twice a week. I learned to tolerate the frustration.

At 38, I work full time, have a toddler and a 5-year-old and am often exhausted, and my sex drive has finally fallen through the floor. The kicker? A year ago, my husband had surgery to remove a large hernia in his groin that he’d had for years but was afraid to get checked out. Following his surgery, his sex drive went through the roof. Now he’s the Energizer Bunny. Where was this enthusiasm when we were 20?

It’s causing problems in our marriage, as I resent the fact that I was expected to tolerate my frustration, but he has trouble doing likewise. I’m sure we’ll work it out, as we always do, but part of me would really like to go back to his doctor and say, “Can’t you please return just a little bit of his hernia?”

So, men, if you think you may have a medical problem, please check it out sooner rather than later. And, women, be careful what you wish for. – Sex Drive Mismatch

Dear Mismatch: Right now, your husband is delighted to be at full throttle and wants to enjoy it. There is a good possibility that your sex drive will return when you are less exhausted, and perhaps your husband will develop another hernia when you hit menopause (just kidding). But we’re glad you are confident that you will work this out. That’s what happens in a good marriage.