Patience and kindness; so simple, so effective

There are two things that can help us and those around us be happier:  Jesus’ “new command” (John 13:34-35) that we love each other, displaying our love for him through our actions to each other; and Paul’s instruction in 1 Corinthians 13:4 that “Love is patient, love is kind.”

This chapter is often read at weddings and makes us feel good. It seems too simple to think that it could  be useful in solving problems within our families and with those around us.

Showing love for each other through our patience and kindness are two important things that each of us can do. Longtime habits intercede; maybe we think that since it is just family we don’t have to be so good. Or with strangers, we can think that since we won’t see that person again we can spout out our frustrations on them.

To my shame, I have done all of these things, but I am working on it and those around me are very forgiving.

Snappish responses, flaring out at anyone in sight when we haven’t done our preparation or just plain dumping on some salesperson does not help our situation except for making us a little more heated and ugly. We might even brag to a friend of family member about how we “told them.”

Let’s take it to another level and start thinking before we sputter uselessly.

Few of us will deny what Jesus says for us to do. This is agape love, an action that does not need merit. It is the way we wish that everyone would treat us even when we don’t deserve it. These teachings are common to most religions.

Patience and kindness are defined by my big Webster’s as: “Patience: the quality of being patient or of bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, caring.” “Kind: of a good or benevolent nature or disposition as a person, considerate, helpful, humane, compassionate.”

Some of these words would have seemed ridiculous to me in the past.  The years are flying and I am still studying and experimenting with these two words.

I am amazed at the simplicity and effectiveness of what Jesus commanded. It is all about how we treat each other. We don’t have to know these people or even like them, we just have to think about them as real people who have feelings and needs.

Maybe their feet hurt or they have a splitting headache or have a sick child. Perhaps they had a fight with someone in their family and are brokenhearted. There are reasons for the actions of those around us that can affect how they speak and act to us or how they drive.

Let’s be the initiators of courtesy under all circumstances. Being patient and kind does not weaken us or make us less effective; on the contrary, it makes our brains more clear and capable because we are not fogged up with fluster and self-importance.

Being the victim requires too much energy. We can save our steam for a better power – the power to follow the instructions that came with the packaging on being human and getting along with each other better.