Annie’s Mailbox: Parents butting in? Move out

Dear Annie: I am a 19-year-old girl still living with my parents. My 22-year-old brother lives here, as well. I am working two part-time jobs and recently obtained full-time employment.

My brother, “Sam,” attended college courses for one semester two years ago. He has never been employed. He spends all day in his room playing computer games until the late hours of the night. My parents never pressure him to find a job, develop social skills or go back to school. They seem completely content allowing him to live this way.

However, when it comes to me, my parents are constantly critical. They don’t approve of my boyfriend, my social habits, the hours I stay out and the fact that I am not attending college. My mother frequently threatens to kick me out, although I doubt she would.

I believe my parents are misguided. I don’t understand why they insist on chastising me when they have a much bigger issue on their hands with Sam. Whenever I try to get involved and suggest that Sam get a job or apply to college, my parents inform me that it is none of my business and he’s not my concern.

I am worried about what will become of Sam, but I admit I’m also irritated that they are constantly butting into my life. How do I tell them to reevaluate their priorities without risking my living situation? – Where Do I Go from Here?

Dear Where: Your parents are butting into your life because you live with them, and that encourages their involvement. They also have greater expectations for you than for Sam, which is why they seem so critical. In order to be independent, you must leave the nest. If your job doesn’t pay enough to find your own apartment, search for roommates.