Discreetly inquire about marital status

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How does one inquire if a woman is married or not? My friend told me to look for a wedding band on the ring finger of her left hand, but what if she is not wearing one?

Is it appropriate to inquire? I don’t know the woman very well. I have talked with her briefly, and she works in a different department at work.

GENTLE READER: You should assume that she is married.

By that, Miss Manners does not mean that you need to give up your hopes. She is only suggesting that you make a benign inquiry about her husband, either to her or to someone who knows her: Is he from around here, or is he in the same business? If there is no such person, that is the answer you will be given.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My job is highly customer service-oriented, in person and on the phone. When I have been able to help callers, they usually end the conversation with, “I appreciate your help,” to which I respond, “You’re welcome.” They then follow this with, “Thank you.”

I interpret the “I appreciate your help” as a form of “Thank you,” but am I wrong in responding with, “You’re welcome?” I don’t want callers to think I’m prompting them to say “Thank you.”

Your response will be much appreciated. Thank you.

GENTLE READER: You’re wel….

Oh, no! Miss Manners was caught in the same loop, trying to jump in between your two statements of appreciation. And the conventional response to such appreciation is “You’re welcome,” although it is rapidly losing ground to “No problem.”

The latter would solve your problem, but you should be aware that it annoys some people. A less pat way of saying it would be, “I was glad to be able to help.”