Kiss contradicting your interest level

Dear Annie: When a person says “no,” what does it mean? Some men just don’t get it. Or do they believe it really means “yes”?

I have a wonderful friend, “Homer,” and I love him dearly, but I am not “in love” with him. We are both in our 80s and widowed, and I thought it was nice to have him as a friend. But Homer’s kisses are getting too mushy and lingering. He often says, “I can’t wait to make love to you,” and I reply each time, “No chance.”

We could have so much fun together, but he always has sex on his mind. I have no interest in getting into bed with him or any other man. If that’s all he wants, he’s welcome to find someone else. I would miss him, but I’ve had about all I can take.

Other than being downright nasty, how can I make Homer understand? He gets his feelings hurt easily. – Too Old To Be Frisky

Dear Too Old: If you are kissing Homer, you give the impression that there could be more than friendship. At that point, your words are contradicted by your actions. No wonder he doesn’t understand “no.” Some women mistakenly believe that they can do lots of kissing and snuggling and guys are happy to stop at that. But Homer (like a lot of men) isn’t wired that way.

Please try to communicate better. Stop kissing or doing anything else that Homer might interpret as romantic. Tell him you enjoy his company, but from now on, the relationship is strictly platonic. If he still doesn’t get the message, you will need to see less of him.