Ready to tell relatives to butt out
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My tolerance and patience are being exceeded. At 55 years old, I have been determined to be disabled due to severe injury to my left leg. My disability impairs only my ability to walk or run. I hold a doctorate and a few M.S. degrees in technical fields, and retired as a manager for a multinational chemical company.
I have friends and family who are totally unable to mind their own business. I am sick of being called and told that I should get rid of all my possessions, sell my home, etc.
These individuals, all of whom seem to believe they are at least 10 times smarter than me, haven’t gotten around to addressing the issue of where I will live after selling the house. The next time I get a “put up a for-sale sign” comment, my response will be: “Absolutely! I will put out the sign tomorrow morning! And immediately after closing, I’ll move in with you! So please start upgrading your home and a bathroom immediately to accommodate me and my pets.”
It is truly uncanny how these individuals manage to find time to worry about my affairs when they can’t manage their own. For a couple of relatives, I am sorely tempted to tell them: “My attorney has instructions to send everything to auction, so you need not be concerned. All proceeds will be used to support my pets that outlive me.”
If you can offer additional insights, this would be helpful to me and others facing the same scenario.
GENTLE READER: The standard answer that Miss Manners suggests to acquaintances and strangers who offer unsolicited advice is, “How kind of you to take an interest in my private affairs.”
But these are relatives and friends, and they have demonstrated that they recognize no boundaries when it comes to offering wisdom-free advice. They might be smug enough to take that statement literally, as a compliment on their compassion.
Rather than contest the boundary issue, she considers it legitimate to take advantage of the intimacy they have established to reply – well, exactly the way you have thought of doing.