Annie’s Mailbox: Find strength to leave bully

Mon., June 11, 2012

Kathy Mitchell

Dear Annie: This is in response to “I Am So Sad,” whose husband is a bully. Please tell her that there is life beyond her horrible marriage.

I lived with a bully for 23 years. In order to preserve my sanity, I filed for divorce. I had to walk away from everything: family, friends, church and home. I had been active in my church, but when my ex claimed he “found God,” he became buddies with our priest. He told everyone I had lost my mind and convinced friends, family members and even my boss to beg me to take him back.

In my tiny apartment with little to my name, I realized for the first time in years that I could breathe without worrying how he would berate me when he walked in the door. No one deserves to be treated like that. It’s hard to find the strength to walk out, but I don’t know any woman who doesn’t feel better off after leaving an emotionally abusive situation. “Sad” will find another church community that will embrace her. She’ll realize who her real friends are. She’ll still be a good person.

I’ve been divorced for seven years and have since gone to school and earned both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees. I’ve made new friends and enjoy my children and grandchildren. I’ve even dated some interesting men. I wish “Sad” luck and the courage to get through this difficult time. – Free To Be Me

Local journalism is essential.

Give directly to The Spokesman-Review's Northwest Passages community forums series -- which helps to offset the costs of several reporter and editor positions at the newspaper -- by using the easy options below. Gifts processed in this system are tax deductible.

Meet Our Journalists

Jesse Tinsley

Meet Jesse Tinsley. As a certified drone pilot, this veteran Spokesman-Review photographer often can be seen capturing beautiful aerial photographs of our region. Sometimes though, the job requires getting down with the dogs.
Jim Meehan

Jim Meehan is no stranger to Zag Nation. As the lead writer covering the Gonzaga men’s basketball team, he tells the stories behind the game and gets fans a bit closer to their favorite players.
Molly Quinn

There is no artist in Spokane like Molly Quinn. Her whimsical style is instantly recognizable to readers of The Spokesman-Review. She has painted gorgeous illustrations that instantly elevate the journalism accompanying it. She brings to life the stories that defy photography. She makes our pages better.
Rob Curley

Spokesman-Review editor Rob Curley loves to talk with people and learn about their lives, whether it's a best-selling author or a stranger he meets downtown on his walk to lunch. It's that inquisitive nature combined with a playful sense of storytelling that helps make our newspaper different than most.