Miss Manners: Friend’s contact seems phony
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do you make of the practice of old high school/college classmates reconnecting with someone only when a major life event is taking place?
A friend and I became acquainted while we were college classmates and maintained a friendship over the years. Seven years ago, other things began to take precedence over us keeping in touch, I guess. She moved away and I remained.
Flash-forward to present day: I got a call from my ex-husband, saying that she had come across his name/profile on LinkedIn and wanted his help in passing her contact info along to me (she obviously no longer had mine).
When we finally connected, she was all chatty – “Girlll, it has been ages since we’ve talked! You are the only one I remembered from the Glee Club!” She then went on to tell me that she wanted my address so she could send me a wedding invitation.
Now mind you, she was in my hometown last year, but obviously didn’t feel motivated enough to reach out to me then – until now, when she’s getting married.
I just think it is so interesting when people feign concern for another person, when clearly there is another agenda. For me, this has occurred on more than one occasion.
Am I getting bent way out of shape? What is the best way to react to this type of overture should it happen again?
For the record, I played along and did attend her birthday celebration, which was taking place in my hometown during the same weekend as her wedding shower. I declined the RSVP to her wedding, however.
GENTLE READER: Isn’t half the Internet taken up with people trying to reconnect with their old classmates – or at least trying to discover that they turned out badly?
And isn’t it possible that a similar impulse – well, the nostalgic one, rather than the vindictive one – moves people to include old friends at important events?
As you did not have such feelings, you were right to decline the wedding invitation. Miss Manners is only trying to assuage your cynicism.