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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Some Things Borrowed …

Sharing wedding goods is a modern way to save money and connect with other brides

Brooke Showell CTW Features
For her September 2011 wedding in Gladwin, Mich., Jennifer Nuoffer wanted an elegant vintage feel for the lakefront reception. A search on Craigslist led her to the sweetest selection of pretty floral plates that another bride and her mother spent more than a year collecting to use at her wedding. “They just wanted them to be used and loved,” says Nuoffer, who snapped up the several hundred shabby-chic dishes from the family, along with other decorations like mismatched cups and saucers, for just $500. She and the original bride each kept a few items for memories, but Nuoffer now is passing along the treasure to a friend marrying this September. “It is just so many plates; there is no sense in them sitting in storage,” she explains. From a loaned headpiece to a repurposed cake topper, brides are learning to share wedding wares more than ever. According to David’s Bridal’s annual “What’s On Bride’s Minds” survey, 63 percent have coupled-up on decorations, while 50 percent have borrowed or loaned clothing and accessories. A growing budget- and eco-friendly attitude among modern weddings is making do-it-yourself, vintage-inspired, crafty weddings cool - and brides are finding gems everywhere form grandma’s attic to thrift stores and on resale sites like FreeCycle.com (for users to pass on unwanted items at no charge), NeighborGoods.com (to share goods with members in one’s area) or RecycledBride.com (for wedding accessories, dresses and decorations). Online Collaboration On the web, wedding-site message boards serve as a town square for brides to chat, share ideas and collaborate, creating a sense of community. More locally, a bride-to-be may find a comrade who is having her wedding at the same venue and perhaps facing some of the same challenges. Brides marrying at the same hotel or hall might agree on a labor exchange: “You may go and be a guestbook escort for someone else’s wedding, then come have someone do that for you,” says Nina Callaway, Brooklyn, N.Y.-based wedding expert and who writes on weddings for About.com. Another source for sharing is to ask your wedding planner or venue’s event manager if they’re working with another bride who may be open to collaborating on a detail like flowers, or search a site like BrideShare.net to find local brides willing to split the cost of rentals or décor. If another bride is saying I Do the same weekend, two weddings might pool funds for gorgeous blooms both groups can enjoy. Beyond the immediate area, sharing décor is an economical and green way to source anything from linens to lighting. “Look on eBay or Craigslist to find basic things that you pay a lot of money for to use at a wedding but don’t really need afterwards,” such as votive candles, chair covers, or other items you typically buy in bulk, Callaway advises. For her own wedding, Callaway and a group of friends all chipped in to share a set of 40 champagne glasses they each used for their engagement parties and post-wedding brunches. If you’re plan on selling a ware post-wedding, think about personalizing them with basic things that can be removed. For example: vases with ribbon in your wedding colors or sprigs of lavender. Double-Duty Dresses The all-important wedding dress is one area where brides love to share—and score a great deal. “I see a lot of brides selling their dress because they don’t have the storage space to keep it for 20 years,” Callaway notes. Beyond the local consignment shop, websites like OnceWed.com and BridePower.com are popular sources for shared gowns. Look for a reputable site with a good return policy, as there’s a big chance the dress won’t be quite right. Keep in mind that a secondhand dress was fitted to someone else’s measurements, and may need extensive alterations, which could cost several hundred dollars (especially if the gown has elaborate details like lace or beading), so factor that into your fashion budget, too. Think about ways to make it your own, too, like removing the sleeves or adding a sash. If it’s a borrowed dress you’ll need to give back to its original owner, ask the tailor in advance if it can be altered in a way that can be changed back (for example, a hem is easily undone). Or just stick to sharing accessories with close pals: For her June 2011 wedding, Joanne Fischetti of Bayonne, N.J. borrowed her maid of honor’s slip to wear beneath her wedding gown as her “something borrowed.” She will then pay it forward by lending her veil and headpiece to another friend marrying in May. To be a model borrower, handle inherited items with care. Whether it’s a dress or dish, check to be sure the person doesn’t want it back, especially if you plan to alter it permanently. Also understand that not everyone may be on board. “Weddings are getting more individualized and personalized, so don’t be offended if someone doesn’t want to share,” Callaway says.