Sleeping with ex gives him hope

Dear Annie: I was with my ex-husband for 18 years before I divorced him. We have three children, and he hasn’t been the best father or husband. Lately, however, he has been nice and comes around to visit the kids. I appreciate the fact that he is doing this, but he is now saying things to me that make me uncomfortable.

He slept on my couch a couple of nights because he stayed late with the kids when I was out. But now he is coming every day and staying over every night. We often end up sleeping together.

I told him to stop coming around with the expectation that we are getting back together, because we are not. Now he has asked me to marry him again. What should I do? – Think I’ve Been Too Nice

Dear Think: For starters, stop sleeping with him. By allowing him to spend the night in your bed, you are leading him on, encouraging him to believe there is hope. When you return home, insist that he leave the premises. If you don’t have the backbone for that, drop the kids at his place instead of letting him come to yours. Or hire a babysitter. You are creating this problem. You can stop it.

Dear Annie: How do you handle someone who constantly interrupts? She’s loud, abrasive and obnoxious.

We had a good group of friends, and this person ingratiated herself into our clique. Only one of the other women likes her, but it’s enough to keep her around. I’d love to put her in her place, but don’t want to cause a rift with my friends. – Annoyed

Dear Annoyed: Does she do this with everyone, or only you? If it’s just you, it could be that you take a long time to get to the point, or you monopolize conversations more than you realize. However, if she does it to everyone, you can say, “I’m sure you have something to add, but I’d appreciate it if you would let me finish first.” Many people who interrupt do not realize they are doing it and need to be reminded, nicely, when they overstep.