Please, stop the party invitations

Dear Annie: For years, I have been attending friends’ weddings, showers, graduation parties, birthday parties, engagement parties and other happy occasions.

The problem is, these things require me to give up my time and money. I don’t want to make enemies, but I truly do not care that your great-granddaughter is having a baby. I don’t know the girl and wouldn’t recognize her parents. You might think you are sharing your joy, but in reality, you are sharing stress: yours for planning, holding and paying for the event, and mine for getting to and from, finding a card and gift, and enduring the event. Believe it or not, some people who watch a pregnant girl open 50 shower gifts can’t wait for the last one to be opened so they can leave.

Is there ever a way to retire from being invited to people’s parties? I know I can send regrets along with a gift. But these invitations feel like invoices. How do I get on a “Do Not Invite” list? – Please Don’t Invite Me

Dear Please: It’s not that difficult. Respond with regrets, and only send gifts to those people you care about. If your friend’s great-granddaughter’s second cousin is getting married, you do not have to go, and you are not obligated to send a present. If you can manage a card with good wishes, that is more than enough. If they are looking only for financial rewards, rest assured they will eventually stop inviting you.