Don’t fudge about how you got dog

Hi, Carolyn: I recently “adopted” a purebred dog, or at least, that’s how I think of it. Some people ask, did you adopt her? I just say yes. Is she a mix? I say, “Nope, she is a (breed).” Is she a rescue? This forces me to say: “No, I got her from a breeder in Pittsburgh.”

If they ask this last question, my answer gets an odd stare at best and a preachy and judgmental reaction at worst.

Hey, I get that people are passionate about giving needy dogs loving homes. But I knew what kind of dog I wanted, and I love her, and if someone didn’t give her a great home she’d become a rescue anyway! It seems similar to giving a hard time to a person using a surrogate instead of adopting a kid. Mind your own business! When people go on about this, is there anything I can say? – Also Feel a Bit Guilty They’re Right

If you don’t want an “odd stare,” then maybe you should stop telling people you adopted a dog that you actually bought from a breeder.

Yes, people can be judgmental, about everything they can think to be judgmental about. But when you fudge to cover your guilt complex, you don’t make them think very hard.

From now on, when people ask you whether you adopted your dog, don’t get cute. Just say, “No, I got her from a breeder.” If they try to guilt you for bypassing shelters, then remind yourself whose business it is and handle it as you would any other intrusion: “(Shrug.) This is what worked for me.”

By the way – since you agree to a degree with your critics, why not put your money where your guilt is? There’s more than one way to rescue a dog.