Miss Manners: Graduation cake meant to be eaten, not reserved

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine had a graduation party for her child on a Thursday. She ordered a very expensive cake to be the centerpiece of the dessert table, surrounded by all sorts of cookies, fruit, etc., to be eaten that night.

She wanted the cake to be just the centerpiece and to be eaten on the night of the graduation, the following Sunday.

There was no cake knife anywhere near the cake. She thought people would get the hint, especially since she had another cake to be eaten in another room along with other goodies.

Someone took a plastic fork and stabbed the centerpiece cake when no one was looking. Some of us said that the centerpiece cake was fair game to be eaten along with all the other goodies on that table, even though there was no cake knife.

Others said, “Who would do such a thing?” Someone suggested that there should have been a note saying, “Display only, another cake in kitchen.” Your thoughts?

GENTLE READER: Perhaps the sign should have said, “Hands off; this is for the A-list guests, not you.” What Miss Manners finds most curious is that your friend thought that her guests would hold the same low opinion of themselves.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When do you send wedding announcements? Can you send them prior to the wedding, to let people know you plan on getting married?

GENTLE READER: Announcing that something has happened before it actually has is asking for trouble. Miss Manners trusts that there will be no jilting at the altar, but it has been known to happen.

Besides, an announcement received beforehand is bound to be taken by some as an invitation, and could bring unexpected guests.