The Slice: Newspaper relic offers double dose of nostalgia

I have a vintage “Good Paper” yardstick I’m willing to give away.

So tell me. Why do you deserve it?

It’s blue, somewhat worn, mentions both the S-R and Chronicle and says “We Measure Up!”

Make your case by 11:59 p.m. tonight.

The winner will need to come to the Review Tower to collect it.

Grading our solar system: Here is Janet Culbertson’s ranking of the planets.

Mercury: She’s just hot.

Earth: Warm, fuzzy, homey.

Mars: Love chocolate.

Venus: So romantic.

Saturn: Love rings.

Jupiter: A giant amongst us and what is that red spot anyway?

Neptune: Cool little planet.

Pluto: Goofy little planet (or is it?).

Uranus: The butt of too many jokes.

Then there was this from Douglas Benn. “My favorite planet is Mars (I wish I were there). Next comes Saturn (a hexagonal-shaped storm over its south pole). Earth is third. Next comes Venus (a pressure cooker close in mass to Earth). Mercury is dead last (a hot rock with a barely detectable atmosphere).”

Slice answer: Lonnie Scott checks the battery-charge level on some of his portable computing devices “Dozens of times a day.”

But he also noted this. “My wife and I drive a Nissan Leaf, and if you want to question people about checking battery levels, talk to owners of electric-only cars. There is a term for the stress involved. It’s called Distance Anxiety.”

The things we touch while out in public that make us yearn to wash our hands: “Handrails on stairs and escalators,” wrote Kath’ren Bay-Higdon. “Yuck.”

Slice answer: Rockford’s Tom Tyler said that, to him, the most memorable scene in “Ben-Hur” is when the central character’s mother and sister are healed of leprosy. “The scene speaks to me of the divine gift of salvation and redemption.”

Local trivia: Jim Markley wonders how many readers know that Jeannette Rankin, the first woman elected to the U.S. Congress (from Montana), lived for a time in Spokane.

Today’s Slice question: The Mariners didn’t consider you for the role of closer because …