History’s Oddest Auto Accessories

A true automotive icon is celebrating its 100 anniversary this year, one that’s been satisfying the needs of garage mechanics and fueling the fantasies of car crazy adolescents for generations. That would be the beloved JC Whitney auto parts mail-order catalog which, aside from the usual array of tires, batteries and mufflers, was traditionally an emporium of hard-to-find automotive accessories that could turn any ordinary car into a custom cruiser. A plethora of hood scoops, wheel covers, spoilers, fender flares, seat covers and virtually every body part for a vintage Jeep or Volkswagen Beetle was always a phone call away. And then there were the true automotive oddities, of which current iterations are becoming scarce. While a device called a steering-wheel spinner knob was a popular add-on in the 1950’s and early ‘60’s to afford one-handed driving (leaving the other arm free to either hang out the window or around your girlfriend’s shoulders), only a single version remains in the JCW catalog, albeit one that’s made to look like the cylinder of a .44 Magnum handgun. Bringing back some admittedly twisted memories, JC Whitney recently issued a list of what its current proprietors feel are the oddest auto accessories ever to grace the catalog’s pages. Culled mainly from the car-crazy 1950’s and ‘60s, here’s a quick look at JCW’s oddest auto accessories ever: 1. “Door-Re-Mi Door Chime.” This gadget essentially turned one’s car into a giant music box, playing an enchanting melody - including “Let Me Call You Sweetheart,” “I Love You Truly” and even “Ave Maria” - whenever a door was opened. 2. Fuzzy Car Muffs. A mercifully short-lived craze had people dressing up their rides by wrapping fuzzy white fur over mirrors, horn rings and/or visors. 3. Dashboard Record Player. Yes, this was an in-car 45 rpm record player that purported to, “Perform smoothly over rough roads, rough curves, even during fast starting and stopping,” though it probably had trouble managing an entire three-minute song without skipping. 4. Race/Sports-Car Recordings. Among its many diverse wares, JC Whitney sold records of famous races; if played loudly enough it could convince neighbors into thinking the local toughs were drag racing their hot rods back in the alley. 5. Automotive Radio Phone. Predating the cell phone by at least two decades, this essentially turned a car, truck or boat into a low-power radio station that boasted a range of up to 10 miles for communicating with family and/or associates. We’d guess most were sold to make their owners feel like James Bond behind the wheel 6. Gyroscopic Stabilizers. This gizmo sounds like it came straight out a Star Trek episode (“Calibrate the gyroscopic stabilizers Mr. Scott…”). It dubiously claimed to increase tire life, automatically balance wheels, iron out bumps and improve handling, and sold it sets of two because “dual gyros” sounds ever so much cooler. 7. Foot-Operated Radio Switch. Today’s equivalent is factory installed, fingertip operated and is mounted on the steering wheel instead of the floor. 8. Left Foot Accelerator. The idea here was that once the driver’s right foot would get tired, he or she could simply carry on using the added left-foot pedal. Or we suppose one could simply plant both of them to the floor for maximum thrust. 9. In-Car Coffee Kit. This small coffeemaker secured to the dashboard and percolated up to four cups of Joe. Unfortunately neither the travel mug nor the cup holder had been invented, and we imagine too many drivers got a lap full of hot coffee trying to get their caffeine fix back in the 1960’s 10. “Winky” and Friends. For better or worse, stuffed animals designed to sit on a car’s rear deck with eyes that would eerily illuminate in accordance with the brake lights and turn signals were a JC Whitney staple until the late 1980’s.