Continuing care indeed not cheap

Dear Annie: I was interested in the letter from “Still Stressed Out,” who is the caregiver for parents who insist on remaining at home. You urged seniors capable of making their own decisions to look into continuing-care communities.

Most CCRCs require a hefty buy-in fee and then a monthly fee. The fees increase as one moves from independent living to assisted living and then to nursing care.

I, too, urge seniors who have the means to explore continuing-care options. I just wish you had raised your readers’ awareness as to how many people do not have those choices. – Another Senior in New York

Dear New York: Assisted living and nursing home care is not cheap. You are right that some continuing-care facilities are pricey. Some continuing-care facilities are straight rentals with no buy-in fees. But CCRCs were only one suggestion in our response. Those who don’t wish to move out of their homes can still do a great deal to make their houses more senior-friendly.

Our readers had a great deal to say on the subject of caregiving. Read on:

From Virginia: I feel sorry for those parents. “Stressed Out” is typical of so many people today: selfish and self-centered. Has she forgotten who took care of her when she was a helpless infant? Texas: I sympathize with “Still Stressed Out.” Being the caregiver of a person who is selfish, depressed and won’t seek help is hard. Society is too quick to romanticize the caregiving of the elderly as rewarding and wonderful. That is not always the case.

Lodi: When Dad died, I was left in charge of my difficult mother. When she lost her driver’s license, I sold her car, and she didn’t speak to me for weeks. We cleaned out her house and found letters in which she said awful things about us. She recently fell and moved into convalescent care and locked her roommates out of the bathroom. My husband and I are cleaning out our attic and buying a smaller house to make things easier for our kids.