This man can’t be in relationship

Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I are in our 60s and have been together for 12 years. We recently had a disagreement, and he walked away. I emailed him and he said he has feelings for me and always will, but he can’t make me happy. He said I need someone who is as romantic and financially secure as I am. He has no pension, no savings and a business that is barely surviving. He also told me that his health problems are why we haven’t had sex in four years.

I am his fifth relationship that hasn’t worked out. He used to phone me every night and I miss that. After previous disagreements, he always came back. He said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship now and needs to look after his business. He claims to be a workaholic. Should I contact him again? – J.

Dear J.: How much do you want to suffer? There are reasons this man is incapable of being in a permanent relationship. If he wants that to change, he would likely need counseling to understand his motivations better. But you cannot make that happen. You can only decide what is best for you. Unless this man gets help and makes major changes to his life, he cannot give you any type of commitment, nor does he want to. He prefers to leave the relationship. We think you should let him.

Dear Annie: This is in regards to “Outvoted,” who is debating with her siblings about replacing the batteries in Mom’s pacemaker.

My family had the same problem. Dad was 92. My sister and I wanted to let him go peacefully, but my mom and brother wanted the batteries changed. We are now living a nightmare. Dad has full-blown dementia. My sister and I are the caregivers, as my brother lives three hours away and Mom is too frail to care for him.

Dad is ornery and hits on every woman he sees. I change his soiled diapers and give him showers. Had Dad died two years ago, I would have wonderful memories. Now I am beginning to hate him. – Let Her Die with Dignity