Miss Manners: Invite need not come with stipulation

Fri., July 10, 2015

Judith Martin And Jacobina Martin Univeral Uclick

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a very good friend who invited me and my husband over for dinner and told us to get a baby sitter for our daughter.

I probably would get a baby sitter since my 6-year-old daughter would be bored with the adult conversation. However, I was a bit offended by the suggestion. Am I overreacting?

GENTLE READER: No, because had your friends simply issued the invitation to only you and your husband, you would have understood their intentions without the added insult of instructing you on how to make it happen. Right?

Had everyone stuck with that, all would have been well. Your hosts would have accomplished their goal of having an adults-only evening.

However, Miss Manners cannot help but notice that your reason for potentially procuring a baby sitter was not that your daughter’s company was not requested, but that she might have been bored. This implies that you might have considered bringing her, asked or not.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the protocol for sharing mobile phone numbers? When someone gives me their number, I don’t assume it’s OK to give it out (unless that person has so specified). But people just casually ask for other people’s numbers like it’s no big deal.

I generally reply something like, “I don’t have permission to give it out, but if you’ll give me yours, I’ll ask him to call you,” and often I’m accused of being dramatic. Am I?

GENTLE READER: Not in this case. Miss Manners assures you that yours is a perfectly polite way to handle it. If people feel you are being overly dramatic, you might say, “I’m sure you wouldn’t want me to give out your number to salespeople or overzealous suitors.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper etiquette for parents to be invited to their kids’ bachelor/bachelorette party?

GENTLE READER: If such a party were so proper that parents would not be out of place, Miss Manners suggests congratulating the children on good taste before declining and getting a good night’s rest before more general wedding festivities.