Annie’s Mailbox: Counseling for two or go by yourself

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 10 years, but I sometimes wonder whether I love him or am just used to having him around. We have no kids, and I’ve started thinking of how my life would be without him.

This all began when he first displayed an awful temper. He never gets physically violent, but he hurts me tremendously with the things he says. He pays some of my bills, but always puts his wants and needs before household things that are more important, like fixing the car or filling my prescriptions. I have to walk on eggshells most of the time. When it’s a holiday or Valentine’s Day, he expects me to get him something, but he never does anything special for me.

My friends think I’m still with him because I’m afraid to be alone. There are times when I enjoy his company, but not that often. I’m not even sexually attracted to him anymore. Should I continue on because it just might be a phase I’m going through? – Tired of It

Dear Tired: While all relationships go through ups and downs, yours includes verbal abuse and what appears to be a total lack of consideration. This is not acceptable behavior between loving spouses. If your husband is willing to go with you for counseling and work on this, there is hope for the relationship. If not (and we suspect not), please talk to a counselor on your own and try to clarify your feelings enough to make decisions about your future. There are worse things than being alone.