Unlikely reunion

Like a puzzle missing several pieces, Jeannie Barber, 64, always knew her family was incomplete.

Last month she discovered many of those missing pieces right here in the Inland Northwest.

In 1950, Barber was given up for adoption in Spokane by her 18-year-old unwed mother.

She and her older brother, John Gilbert, knew they had been adopted. “My parents were very upfront about it,” she said.

All she knew of her history came from a quick glance her mother stole at her file – her birth name was Linda Ruth.

Ten years ago Barber was diagnosed with breast cancer. “My surgeon felt like because I didn’t know anything about my health history it was a health risk.”

But at the time Washington adoption records were sealed. Still she wondered, “Is my biological mother alive? Do I have any siblings?”

Barber said when she discovered the law regarding adoption records had been changed last fall, she was ready to fill in some of those blanks in her health history. She submitted her identification to the Washington Department of Health and a short time later received a copy of her birth certificate.

She discovered her birth mother’s name, but a records search revealed she’d died in 2008. Undaunted, Barber pressed on and tracked down an address for the son of her mother’s last husband. She wrote to him and he forwarded her letter to another family member.

On Feb. 7, her phone rang and her husband answered it. “It’s your brother,” he said.

Barber picked up the phone expecting to hear her brother John’s voice. Instead a stranger said, “I’m Larry and I’m your brother.”

Sitting next to his sister in her North Side home, Larry Barringer grinned at the memory. He said when he received the forwarded letter; he was “surprised but not shocked.”

“My grandma had told my brother Lyle that there’d been a baby given up for adoption. When I went to her (Barber’s) Facebook page I saw she looked just like my sister Diane.”

Within minutes of that first phone call Barber learned she was the oldest of 10 children, two having died in infancy, and her biological mother had been married seven times.

“I was sitting down trying to get over the shock,” she said. “Mostly, I just wanted to hear whatever I could about my mother. I wanted the stories.”

Since that first phone call, Barber has been in contact with seven of her surviving siblings and met six of them in person.

They’ve shown her the house where her mom was raised and she’s been to see one of her brothers play with his band. “My daughter’s also a professional musician,” she said. “We’re going to have jam session!”

She met her brother John Barringer for lunch and he surprised her with flowers and a card that said, “Welcome to the family.”

When asked why he and his siblings had so warmly welcomed this stranger into their family circle, he said, “Why wouldn’t I want to meet her? Wouldn’t that be selfish? She doesn’t want anything but some answers and relationships. She’s definitely going to be part of our family.”

Barber’s sister, Josephine Ranes, agreed. “She’s fantastic,” she said. “I think she’ll be a great big sister.”

The past three weeks have been a blur for Barber as she’s watched her family tree grow in ways she never imagined. While she did get some answers regarding her health history, much remains unknown. Her biological father wasn’t listed on her birth certificate.

And some of the answers have made her sad. Her birth mother lived a hard life and Barber’s siblings believe she never wanted to give up her first child, but was forced to do so by her strict Catholic mother.

But mostly what she’s found is the absolute joy of belonging.

“Before I met them all, my daughter was the only one I shared DNA with,” she said. “I can’t tell you how wonderful it’s been to be so welcomed. We’re going to have a big family reunion this summer.”

Her brother Larry Barringer nodded. But for him, even better than finding his older sister is the knowledge of how delighted their mother would be.

“She always believed someday her daughter would come walking down the sidewalk,” he said. “I just know Mom’s sitting up there, happy.”