Teach kids how words can abuse

Wed., Sept. 23, 2015

Washington Post

Dear Carolyn:

I am happily married to a wonderful man. Recently, his grown son moved in with us and I’m fine with that. However, his son uses the word “retard” quite often and it bothers me – especially when he uses it with his children, 10 and 4, as in, “Don’t be a retard.”

My husband said I’m being “politically correct” – not a compliment! I believe it is our responsibility to teach our children compassion and part of that is not using words that put people down for conditions over which they have no control.

– PC in CA

Then say so, because you’re right. And don’t back down. Say something every time someone uses that word around you. “I find that word offensive. You’re smearing innocent people, and your own children.”

Make sure the kids hear you. An abridged version is fine for follow-ups.

I hope you also give these kids relief from the casual cruelty Dad’s teaching.

With all due respect, when your husband defends his son’s right to verbally abuse – yes, I’m not using the term loosely – his young grandchildren, his “wonderful” earns a fat asterisk.

If these two ethical giants protest your protests, then feel free to remind them of this: Teaching kids it’s OK to use a justifiably radioactive word is like sending them out in shackles. Saying it publicly will get them in trouble in school now, hurt their standing among well-raised peers as they mature, and be potentially lethal to them professionally when their time comes to earn their keep.

If that’s the price these men are willing to pay because it’s so terribly important to fight the big bad PC straw man with gratuitous ridicule of people with developmental issues, then that’s their prerogative – no argument here. But it’s your prerogative to point out that just because you can say something doesn’t mean you should.

Local journalism is essential.

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