Annie’s Mailbox: Pill theft as a teen broke parents’ trust

Dear Annie: I am a 20-year-old male who currently lives with my parents. I just started my first year of college.

Both of my parents have prescriptions to Xanax. When I was 15, I took a few from my dad’s bottle. My parents labeled me a thief and an addict. I knew it was wrong and haven’t done it since. I thought we had moved on from that incident, but my mother called me at work and asked whether I had taken 60 of her Xanax. I had no idea what she was talking about and said I hadn’t touched her pills. She insisted that I stole them and sold them, and wouldn’t hear anything other than an admission of guilt.

I honestly have no idea what happened to her pills, but I feel terrible that my mother believes I stole from her. No matter how many times I proclaim my innocence, they assume I’m guilty. What else can I say? – Guilty by Accusation

Dear Guilty: Nothing, really. You said you didn’t do it, and unless evidence surfaces that someone else took the pills (or they were misplaced), your parents will think you are the guilty party. We suggest you sincerely apologize for giving them cause to mistrust you because of your past behavior. But understand that it may not convince them of your innocence. Once trust is broken, it is difficult to regain. It will take a great deal of time for your parents to see you as a responsible, trustworthy person. Consider this a goal for the long haul. It’s worth it.