Miss Manners: Nicknames at work aren’t professional

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it professional to call a colleague a nickname such as “Little Redhead”? Someone who is in some ways above you in the chain of command?

GENTLE READER: Outside of the Mafia – and even then, likely only in movies – Miss Manners is not aware of any profession in which conferring nicknames (“Nicky the Squid”) is considered professional behavior.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Almost every week, my phone gets at least one text message identified solely by the other party’s phone number, with few clues as to the sender’s identity, saying something like, “When do you want to meet?” What’s the politest way to reply, “First, who IS this, please?”

GENTLE READER: “Who is this, please?” (with “is” lowercase) should be sufficient as, depending on the answer, Miss Manners suspects that there may not be a “second.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend/acquaintance who has a problem with self-esteem and is constantly trying to impress. When a group of us go out to eat, she says, “I will do the prime rib” or whatever it may be.

The rest of us just say we will have the prime rib.

I know this isn’t a big deal, but it really grates on my nerves. Should I say anything or just bite my tongue?

GENTLE READER: Bite your tongue. Miss Manners finds your interpretation of your friend/acquaintance’s wording even odder than the wording itself.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A relative of mine often disses my family, particularly my siblings. I enjoy her company, but I’m put off by her negative remarks. They are thrown in unexpectedly, and I don’t know how to respond discreetly. How can I handle this comfortably?

GENTLE READER: It should add to your comfort, Miss Manners would think, to repeat, “I will not listen to anything against my siblings.” The discomfort of your bad-mouthing relative may prove to be useful. If not, at least you will be spared hearing the remarks.

Send your questions to Miss Manners www.missmanners.com.