Dear Annie: An acquaintance in need

Dear Annie: An acquaintance from the local golf course, where we both play every week, told me he has prostate cancer. Although he went into far more detail about the discovery, symptoms, diagnosis and treatment options than I wanted to hear, I listened and expressed my sympathy.

Three weeks later, I saw him again. He said he was angry with me because I had not called him. “Friends look out for each other,” he said.

The truth is that this guy is just an acquaintance, not a friend. We really don’t have much in common, and I don’t want a closer relationship. At the same time, I recognize he is in need of emotional support right now. – Now What?

Dear Now What: It sounds as though this man could use some emotional support, but you’re not the person to give it. Even if you forced yourself, you might end up feeling resentful or pulling away, and that would only make the situation worse. Instead, refer him to other resources. You can find a database of support programs and services in your area on the American Cancer Society’s website (https://www.cancer.org/treatment/support-programs-and-services.html). With a cancer diagnosis come a whole range of complex emotions, which your acquaintance is no doubt struggling with. Try to be patient. Though you don’t have to be his best friend, you’ll never regret being compassionate.

Dear Annie: I liked your response to “Workplace Drama,” who wrote about a co-worker who had a double mastectomy and is extremely upset about “Workplace Drama’s” still having breasts. But I would like to add that her co-worker’s complaint is so bizarre that I think her co-worker should go back to see her oncologist and have a brain scan. Breast cancer can metastasize to the brain, and it’s possible that this fixed idea is related to a spreading of the cancer. – M.D. in Montreal

Dear M.D.: That is a possibility I never would have considered. And it’s another example of why I am so grateful when doctors write in and share their expertise. Thank you. I’ve forwarded your message to “Workplace Drama.”