Mama Bear Moxie: Wait and see, or visit the doc? It’s often a tough call

My youngest sister had her first baby a few weeks ago. It has been a joy to see her growing belly throughout pregnancy and be there when she delivered a healthy baby girl. She is the last one in our family to have a baby, and my parents now have grandchildren ranging in age from 14 to newborn.

My sister recently asked the rest of the moms in the family about our advice on a health issue for the baby. It reminded me about how one of the most difficult parts of mothering is knowing when to take your kid to a doctor.

There have been so many times in my own mothering journey when I have wondered when to take a child in to see a doctor. There have been times when I would freak out and take them too early, only to be told to go home and “keep an eye on it.” I not only felt foolish on the ride home but also bad about wasting money on an office visit. I would silently rebuke myself and vow to do better next time.

There also have been times when I have waited too long, and my son had to be medevaced by helicopter to another hospital. The fact that my oldest son has health issues today because of my actions will forever haunt me. You can prepare for breastfeeding, diapers and plenty of stages of motherhood. However, no one tells you about the inner turmoil that you will feel when your precious new babe gets sick.

As a new mom, you go into the doctor more often as you are still trying to learn the ropes. As a seasoned mom, you have learned more about what needs medical attention and what doesn’t. I have to say, though, my oldest is 14, and I still worry about whether an ailment needs medical attention.

Many adults procrastinate when it comes to their own health needs. We wait until the pain is too great to ignore. When it comes to your child, you want to do what is best for them all of the time. A baby can’t vocalize their pain, so it is difficult to know when to do what.

As your mothering matures, you learn to make quick decisions about health care in the home. Band-Aids and ice packs are an almost daily thing because kids will be kids. I don’t struggle with the ailments that appear on the outside of the body: cuts that have become infected, warts growing in weird spots or temperatures that skyrocket.

It is the things on the inside that always make me second guess when to take a sick child into a doctor. My daughter has an extremely low tolerance for pain. I don’t want to witness her having surgery or getting a bone set after a break.

The fear in her eyes is enough to want to keep her in a bubble at all times. I am continually applying Band-Aids for scratches that didn’t break the surface of the skin and reassuring her that she will indeed make it another day.

However, the boys have a high tolerance for pain. This is great for them but not so great for me. Both of them have had instances where I take them into a doctor after they complain of an earache for a day or two. We go into the doctor only to discover that they have a raging double ear infection that has been building for weeks.

It is times like this when I sit in the examination room and seriously doubt my ability to mother these children. I mean, yes, they didn’t tell me until yesterday that something was wrong, but I am their mother. I should have been able to subconsciously tell that there was an inferno of infection in their ear canal, right?!

Wrong. I’m afraid that I will still make mistakes when it comes to knowing when to take my child into a doctor. It is one of those mothering skills that I am convinced you never quite master.