Writer Gail Sheehy, author of ‘Passages,’ dies at 83

NEW YORK – Gail Sheehy, the journalist, commentator and pop sociologist whose best-selling “Passages” helped millions navigate their lives from early adulthood to middle age and beyond, has died. She was 83.

Sheehy, widow of New York magazine founder Clay Felker, died Monday of complications from pneumonia in Southampton, New York, according to her daughter, Maura Sheehy.

“Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life” was published in 1976 and caught on with a generation torn by the cultural revolution of the time, sorting through midlife struggles, marital problems, changing gender roles and questions about identity. As Sheehy noted in the book’s foreword, close studies of childhood and old age were widely available, but far less scrutiny had been given to the prime years of work and relationships.

“It occurred to me that what Gesell and Spock did for children hadn’t been done for us adults,” Sheehy wrote. “It’s far easier to study adolescents and aging people. Both groups are in institutions (schools or rest homes) where they make captive subjects. The rest of us are out there in the mainstream of a spinning and distracted society.”

Drawing upon more than 100 interviews, Sheehy combined research and personal stories to probe why some marriages lasted and others ended, why some left unsatisfying jobs while others stayed, why some were able to reconcile with growing older while others never developed beyond their early years.

Part of the book’s appeal was its hopeful message, as suggested by the subtitle: There’s a consistent and manageable pattern to adulthood; it’s ok not to be young anymore; if you’re willing to take chances, there are richer, more meaningful ways to find happiness later in life.

“The greatest surprise of all was to find that in every group studied, whether men or women, the most satisfying stages in their lives were the later ones,” she wrote. “Simply, older is better.”

“Passages” helped set off a conversation that lasted for decades. The New York Times praised Sheehy for her “pertinent and persuasive” objections.