Arrow-right Camera

The Spokesman-Review Newspaper The Spokesman-Review

Sunday, March 29, 2020  Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
Partly Cloudy Day 47° Partly Cloudy

Stacking up the salsas: 14 top brands are tasted and ranked

In ranking popular store-bought salsas, the testers thought most were too mild. (Tom McCorkle / For The Washington Post)
In ranking popular store-bought salsas, the testers thought most were too mild. (Tom McCorkle / For The Washington Post)
By Emily Heil Washington Post

Open a jar of salsa and you’ve just completed most of the work needed to get a crowd-pleasing party snack on the table. (You also have to tear into a bag of chips, sigh, but that’s usually an even easier task.) Such convenience might explain the popularity of salsa, which famously dethroned ketchup as America’s reigning condiment back in the 1990s.

Since then, our jars have runneth over with dipping options: You can find versions of the tomato-based sauce laced with everything from peaches to pickles to Thai spices and a range of spice levels all the way up to face-melting for the truly masochistic among your party squad.

So which of the options you’ll find on your grocery aisle deserves a spot amid your game-day spread? We assembled 14 nationally available brands, including the top five sellers in the United States, according to Statista, and some of the most common store brands, along with bags of tortilla chips.

To get as close to apples-to-apples as possible, we kept it simple and stuck to the “medium” spice level where it was available and the chunky style that is standard among the bestselling brands. Testers were asked to grade each salsa on a scale of 1 to 10, factoring in consistency and overall flavor. With 10 testers, the maximum possible score was 100.

The verdict? There are decent options out there. But, overall, we were left with a not-so-burning question: WHERE’S THE HEAT? This assemblage was about as timid as a meeting of Introverts Anonymous, which made us wonder that if these were “medium,” what were the “mild” varieties like?

In other words, if you like your salsa with even a bit of kick, you might want to pick up a bottle of hot sauce, also, to wake up whatever jar you take home. But spice is only part of the equation – here’s how they stacked up, from worst to best:

14. Herdez Score: 21

This was the salsa we least wanted to show up at the party. Most of our tasters found it to be watery and bland, and the few that detected something in there didn’t like their discovery. If this was a musical genre, it would be heavy metal: “Tinny,” one said. “Canned tomato,” another said. “Tastes like what you’d make if you had to make food out of salvaged car parts.”

13. Trader Joe’s Salsa Autentica Score: 26

This was a slightly different formula than many of the others. Thinner than most, it was a universal disappointment. “Looks like a red-tinted spice-delivery system,” one taster said. “Tastes like it’s been sitting in plastic,” another sniffed.

12. On the Border Score: 29

There was one word on almost all our tasters’ lips when it came to this entry. “CUMIN MANIA. CUMINFEST. CUMIN-ARAMA.” Turns out the spice is like your mother-in-law: good in small doses. The preponderance of the flavor here was just too overwhelming for our panel.

Sample verdict: “When you unscrew the top of the cumin, the shaker top comes with it, so you end up dumping the entire jar of cumin into this terrible salsa.”

11. Market Pantry (Target) Score: 30

Lots of tomato here but not much else. “A sad, thin tomato sauce with a few green pepper lifesavers,” per one. Others took issue with the texture. “So goopy I think it just sold me a healing salve and a crystal,” one said. “Bleh.”

10. Whole Foods Organic Score: 31

Thin. “School cafeteria salsa.” “Baby food mixed with V-8.” “A soup that feels like a swamp of industrial runoff.”

9. Amy’s Score: 32

Suffering from insomnia? Maybe try a spoonful of this sleep-inducing blend. “Is there anything happening here?” “Dull” “Doesn’t taste like much.” The letter grade for this one was a resounding “Zzzzzzz.”

8. Newman’s Own Score: 33

This one had promising flecks intimating that roasted veggies (and maybe some flavor?) were at hand. But a taste proved this to be all false promises. Several tasters found it unpleasantly sweet. “How come they dumped a sugar bowl in this one?” one wondered.

6. (tie) Trader Joe’s Chunky Score: 35

A number of tasters likened this one to something you’d be more likely to find topping spaghetti than tortillas. “Are we sure this isn’t pasta sauce?” one wondered. “Smells like marinara.” “Not the best, not the worst.”

Kirkland’s Organic (Costco) Score: 35

Tasters identified some cumin notes in this one, too, though they merely gave it a “muddy taste,” according to one. A tiny bit of heat was welcome, but overall this got a lot of comments along the lines of “meh.”

5. Chi-Chi’s Score: 36

A touch too sweet, but several tasters praised the look of the visible vegetable chunks. “But they don’t add flavor,” one complained. “Not offensive” and “meh-plus” were the kinds of compliments the committee could muster.

4. Pace Score: 40

The onions in this number jumped out at some tasters (and let’s just pause for a second and recall the iconic salsa moment that was the brand’s long-running ads in which cowboys mock other salsas made in “Newww York Ciiiity”).

“Clearly distributed by the Leftover Onion Producers of America,” one joked. “At least they put onions in there,” another said. “Good job, guys.”

3. Tostitos Score: 43

The market-dominating brand proved why it’s the top seller by being a consensus pick even if what we agreed on was that it wasn’t too bad.

That might not be the kind of ringing endorsement that, say, a presidential candidate might want, but it was enough to make this a top pick. “Bright and salty in a good way,” one said. “Just fine,” was a typical sum-up.

2. Frontera Score: 59

Smoky and spicy, this one elicited a lot of exclamation points – of the positive variety. “Nice smoky profile!” one taster said. “I taste chipotles and what a welcome change this is!” another said. “Actually tastes like salsa.”

1. Green Mountain Gringo Score: 61

This one was the looker of the bunch (“ooh, pretty veg”; “the beauty!”), but it didn’t have to rely on its photogenic qualities – this salsa delivered on flavor, too. Tasters seemed to appreciate the more assertive pepperiness, which distinguished it from some of its zestless brethren.

One praised its “tingle of spice,” and another seemed surprised, given all the salsa-grazing we had done, that he “wanted to keep eating.” Another tester gave it a full endorsement: “I’d buy this one – nice heat.”

Subscribe to the Spokane7 email newsletter

Get the day’s top entertainment headlines delivered to your inbox every morning.

Asking the right questions of your CBD company

Bluegrass Hemp Oil in Spokane Valley offers a variety of products that can be very effective for helping with some health conditions. (Courtesy BHO)

If you are like most CBD (cannabidiol) curious consumers, you’ve heard CBD can help with many ailments.