Dear Annie 10/8

Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I have been in an undefined relationship for six months. He has been married before and now is divorced. One thing he has reiterated time and again during these six months is that he doesn’t need a woman and having a girlfriend adds nothing to his life. When I ask him why he says things like this, which are painful to me, he says it’s due to bad experiences in his past relationships. But he tells me that he wants me.

I am starting to feel uncomfortable with our arrangement. He says that he will never get married. I want to get married. I don’t know any of his friends, and he has never taken me out. I’ve asked him why we can’t go out with his friends. He used to say it was because I needed to dress flashier – wear sexier dresses. I’ve bought flashier clothes, and he still won’t take me out. Now, he says he just doesn’t like to go out. In reality, before we met, I know for a fact that he used to go out and spend time with his friends and he still does sometimes; he just doesn’t invite me. He has never given me anything, not even a small birthday present.

I am sick to my stomach over this. I feel as though he’s ashamed of me – and that shame is the real reason that he does not want to introduce me to his friends or take me anywhere.

I want to stay away from him, but at the same time, I’m really confused. Whenever I get upset with something he says, he calls me back and says he loves me. I think that he’s just using me. – Second-Guessing

Dear Second-Guessing: He can profess his love for you all day long; if he doesn’t have the actions to back it up, it’s nothing more than hot air. Throw this fickle froggy back in the pond. You deserve to be with someone who is proud to introduce you to his friends. Don’t accept anything less.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.