Dear Annie: I have dated a guy for the last six years, always long-distance. I have loved this man with my whole heart. The issue is we have not met each other’s families. He has never met my kids and doesn’t even want to. He will not acknowledge our relationship on his social media profiles. His parents know nothing of me. We do not spend holidays or birthdays together. We do not go on dates. The last time we saw each other in person was two years ago. He barely even texts me. There is always an excuse as to why he is unavailable. Yet he claims that he loves me. I just don’t get it. I want to leave, but I care about him so much. What do I do? – Mixed Signals
Dear Mixed: This man sounds more like a pen pal than a boyfriend (and not a very good pen pal, at that). You deserve to be with someone who wants to see you often, spend holidays together, introduce you to his family and meet your children – in short, someone who wants to be with you. You’ll never meet him if you’re too busy staring at your phone waiting to hear from this guy. Break it off, stat.
Dear Annie: We have periodic overnight visits with my sister-in-law, “Lindsay,” and her boyfriend, “Luis,” who live out of state. We would either visit them at their house or host them at ours if there is some family event going on. We love them both, and they are both lovely people to spend time with – except for this problem we are experiencing.
When we get together, we usually spend the evenings watching TV or movies together. Every time, as soon as we settle down and start a movie, Luis starts falling asleep and snoring – really loudly. Lindsay will wake him up. He’ll stop for a minute. And then, a short time later, he starts snoring again. This goes on all night and really ruins the evening. My husband sits there very irritated the whole time. Eventually, I say I’m tired and go to bed early. We have suggested he go to bed, but he just says he’s awake now, and then the snoring cycle starts all over again.
Do you have any suggestions on how we can handle this situation? – Can’t Hear the Movie
Dear Can’t: Try starting movies earlier in the night and leaving some lights on. If the snooze fest goes on, issue him a gentle wake-up call on the matter – something friendly but direct, such as: “We love spending time with you, but your snoring makes it hard to hear the movie. Mind heading up to bed when you get sleepy?” Also, recommend that he talk to his doctor about being screened for sleep apnea. Sleep apnea can cause snoring and, because it prevents people from getting a full night’s sleep, chronic fatigue.
Dear Annie: We were invited to spend the day with old friends. I thought it would be a nice gesture to bring a bottle of wine. It is one they were unfamiliar with.
We arrived at their home, and I gave them the wine. But it was never opened in our presence. I was disappointed. I was looking forward to sharing a glass with them.
Is it common courtesy to open or at least offer a glass of wine when you brought it to share? Or is it a gift one should not have any rights to? – Mouth Still Watering in Idaho
Dear Mouth Still Watering: When bringing a bottle of wine to a friend’s house, traditional etiquette holds that it’s a host/hostess gift for them to enjoy when they’d like. Next time a bottle captures your interest, buy an extra to enjoy at home later.
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