social circle

You’re not truly an adult until you save an empty box “just because it’s a really great box.”

Twitter/@AbbyHasIssues

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“Hermit crab” describes me twice.

Twitter/@lisaxy424

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Seems like the “how to use a fire extinguisher” video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30 second ad before it.

Twitter/@squirrel74wkgn

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*orders large pizza* *opens box* “Let’s do this…wait” “Safety first,” I whisper as I unbutton my jeans.

Twitter/@ThisOneSayz

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Me: Yes, you were in my belly. 3yo: Why… *tears in her eyes* …why did you eat me?

Twitter/@GoingByRenee

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I just received an email that begins “I trust this email finds you well,” and my dude, in the year 2021, that is an awful lot of trust.

Twitter/@maggiesmithpoet

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“I’m SUCH a nerd!”

-people that were mean to nerds in high school

Twitter/@Eden_eats

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Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you fell for a pyramid scheme.

Twitter/@simoncholland

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Financial status: I have strong opinions about which local dollar store is the fancy one.

Twitter/@XplodingUnicorn

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It’s a good thing my son didn’t take his coat to school. Sure wouldn’t want the other shivering teenagers to think he does uncool stuff like stays warm

Twitter/@maryfairybobrry