Dear Annie 2/3

Dear Annie: My sister and I are in our 60s. We are less than a year apart in age but have never really been close emotionally.

We had a rough childhood in which it was all about survival. Once we were adults, we both moved away and only saw each other a few times a year.

I married my current husband more than 20 years ago. He is the kind of person you love or dislike. My sister dislikes him.

About 10 years ago, I moved about 2,000 miles from where my sister, “Jan,” lives to take a job that I really enjoyed. Shortly after I moved, Jan informed me that her daughter was getting married.

I love my niece very much, but having recently moved and started a new job, I decided not to go to the wedding and told my sister. She has never forgiven me and brings it up every time I see her. What’s more, she blames it on my husband and makes all kinds of rude comments toward him.

Now coming to the point. I have been diagnosed with cancer. I may not have many years left, and Jan wants to visit me. I love her, but, at this point, I am protecting myself from negativity and drama.

Jan says, “She’s at a point in her life where she says what she wants no matter who likes it.”

Please help me. I don’t know how to tell my sister that I don’t want to see her, but I can’t deal with her nasty comments and living in the past. – Living for Today

Dear Living: My heart goes out to you, and I commend you for your thoughtfulness in this trying time.

Things like terminal illnesses have a way of putting things in perspective. I am guessing that when Jan heard the news of your diagnosis, she forgot all about your absence at the wedding and her dislike of your husband. Your shared past must dwarf these petty disagreements.

There are times when it’s appropriate to distance yourself from certain family members, especially when you’re protecting your mental or physical health. But is there a part of you that wants to reconcile with your sister? Allow Jan to visit on the condition that she leaves her negativity at home, 2,000 miles away.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.