Dear Annie 9/13

Dear Annie: My Brazilian wife recently went to her native country for the first time in 10 years. She wanted to see her family. In the three years we have been married, never once had she ever discussed or hinted at getting any type of plastic surgery. About two weeks into her seven-week vacation, she disappeared for three days.

She sent me a text saying, “Honey, I have a serious migraine, going to take pill and stay in dark room!” She said to text her sister if I need to. Well, for three days, I heard nothing! Her phone was turned off. Her sister said in Portuguese, “Bad headache; took strong pills.”

Mind you, we have for two years been in the care of Moffitt Breast Cancer Center. I have driven her the 203 miles for each and every appointment, surgery and seven weeks of radiation treatments, and never once would she take even one pain pill – not once.

She rejected every FaceTime request I made and would only talk or text me after those three nightmare days. As it turns out, her sister in Portugal lied to me, and her daughter here in the U.S. also lied to me via text and in person. And her sister in the U.S. took me to dinner and then lied to me.

Once the truth emerged, I discovered that my wife had a surgical face lift and she got three tattoos.

All her relatives knew before she left on vacation that she had made these plans. I feel violated, deceived and lied to. There is zero trust. I want a divorce. As I told her before we were married, I can deal with infidelity, but I will not accept a lie.

I’ve packed all her belongings in her car, and they will be delivered to her daughter’s house. – Done

Dear Done: You sound close to hysterical about what your wife did. It is understandable to be angry, but before you rush to pack up her things and file for divorce, can you ask yourself why she didn’t feel that she could tell you the truth?

Was she afraid that you would say no? Are you very controlling? Or does she not feel comfortable enough to discuss these life-altering decisions with you? Before you make your final decision, you have to speak with her when you are calm and collected. Seek the help of a trained marriage counselor.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.