Love Story: 58 years later, the DeShaws are still sharing laughs and friendship

Lessons in naval knot-tying ultimately resulted in Roger DeShaw tying the knot with the love of his life.

He’d joined the Naval Reserves in 1962, attracted by the promise of a short two-year commitment. While visiting family in Spokane before being shipped out, he attended his weekend drill. He was paired with a fellow reservist to practice knot tying.

“Dave and I hit it off, and after drill he said he had to catch the bus home, so I offered him a ride,” recalled Roger.

His new pal’s eyes lit up.

“You have a car? You wanna double date?” he asked.

Roger thought that sounded fun, but he didn’t know any girls in Spokane.

“Don’t worry,” Dave said. “I got a sister.”

The two couples went bowling in Cheney. Roger and Karen had a great time. Dave and his date, not so much.

“Dave lost a girl and I gained a wife,” Roger said.

However, he had to wait a while to marry her. Karen was just 14 when they met.

“When I met him, I fell head over heels,” she said. “The biggest thing was his crazy sense of humor. I loved it. He made me laugh a lot – he still does.”

Roger returned to San Diego and parted ways with the Naval Reserves.

“I didn’t like the outfits and I didn’t like the Navy,” he said. “When I returned to Spokane, I called my Air Force recruiter and that afternoon I belonged to the U.S. Air Force.”

His feelings for Karen became clear to her when he sent her a letter about an engagement ring.

“I was still in high school at Marycliff, and I told him I was going to finish school,” she said.

When Roger was sent to the Philippines for 18 months, they kept in touch through letters.

“People were totally amazed that I waited for him,” Karen said.

They married on July 22, 1967, at St. Ann Catholic Church. He was 23 and she was 18.

“His mom made my white satin wedding dress,” Karen said.

Then Roger received orders for Bangor, Maine.

“There’s a honeymoon in there somewhere,” he said, referring to their cross-country drive. “I bragged to everyone that I took her to Niagara Falls.”

Which he did.

Karen laughed and said, “We were there for three hours!”

They also saw more of the country than they’d bargained for.

“We got lost in Chicago and got lost in Boston,” Roger said.

His bride didn’t mind.

“I’d never been outside of Washington!” she said.

From Maine, they moved to California, where their first child arrived in January 1969. Their joy turned to sorrow when they learned their daughter had a congenital heart defect and then died at 6 months old.

Fear intensified Karen’s grief when Roger received orders for Vietnam. Another baby was already on the way, so he was allowed to stay stateside.

In November, their second daughter arrived, and to everyone’s relief, she thrived.

A son was born in 1971, and by then, Roger had served eight years in the Air Force and was ready for civilian life. The family returned to Spokane, and Roger went to work for the U.S. Postal Service. He worked as a letter carrier before becoming a full-time employee of the union and retired after 28 years with the organization.

Karen stayed home with the kids and then enjoyed a 30-plus-year career with the Community Colleges of Spokane.

“I was the office manager for the department of environmental science at SCC,” she said.

She credits Roger for broadening her horizons.

“He conned me into joining the National Association of Letter Carriers Auxiliary,” Karen said. “I was always so shy, and the first thing they did was make me an officer! I wound up at the state level and was president of the auxiliary. He broke me out of my shell.”

She is her husband’s No. 1 fan.

“Roger is a softball fanatic,” Karen said. “I’ve gone to almost every game since we’ve been married. I love watching him play!”

He still plays in the senior league, but that’s not his only sports interest; he was a multisport official.

In addition to umpiring baseball and softball, he refereed basketball and volleyball.

“She’s a saint,” said Roger, throwing his arms around his bride.

The couple celebrated their 58th anniversary in July and plans to commemorate the occasion with a European cruise.

They’ve been on a dozen cruises over the years, many of them with the fellow who introduced them – her brother Dave.

She’s never regretted the choice she made as a teenager.

“He treats me so wonderfully,” Karen said. “I’ve always come first.”

Roger remains as enamored with her as he was when he first laid eyes on her.

“She’s been very patient with me. I always tell her if I were married to me, I’d throw myself out!” he said. “She’s not just my wife, she’s my best friend. We just fit.”