Ryan Miles, 10, reacts while crawling through the Colossal Colon at the recent Ketchikan Health Fair in Ketchikan, Alaska. The colon, displayed in Alaska for the first time, shows various forms of cancer and maladies. You write the cutline.

Top Cutlines:

1. Breaking news: The next stop for the Colossal Colon exhibit is Athol, Idaho. Related item: Embarrassed residents of that small town have petitioned city officials to rename the town "Anuth". Reaction has been mixed -- John Austin.

2. 3. Ryan froze in a sort of stunned surprise bordering on terror when he saw two floral designers (Jeffrey and Timothy) "going up the pipe" giggling and squealing in gerbil costumes -- His Bobness.

3. Ryan had hoped to meet his political hero, but his parents heard wrong and instead he spent the day with "Colon Bowel" -- Family Phil. And: Ryan Miles traverses the bowels of a new adventure ride, “Gutsy Tremors”. Hairpin turns twists, pressure chambers, and a free-fall into ‘The Privy Lagoon’ whirlpool -- Lesley Presley.

HM: Whatever

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