I do not drink alcohol at all and that makes me just as clueless to the concept of moderation as the person who is passing out drunk five times a week. The main difference of being a teetotaler is I have rarely, if ever, kept people up late at night because I was busy shouting out idle threats and falling over easily avoidable inanimate objects. This is why America needs to raise and not lower the drinking age. It is important to note my plan does not try to curtail drinking but only wants to neutralize the stupidity that ensues from it. In order to buy alcohol in the United States, I propose one must be a minimum of 38 years old. College students will always get their grubby mitts on liquor but now they will be forced to have a creepy 38-year-old person around when drinking/Cheyenne Hollis, UI Argonaut. More here.

Question: Would you want to have a "creepy 38-year-old person" around eyeing you and your friends while you're getting blotto?