It May Be A Long Road To A Gingrich White House

Loose talk

Conan O’Brien on sunbathing (in Details magazine): “I am the whitest man in the world. I am genetically engineered to live on a rain-soaked bog in Ireland and never see the sun. Almost no sunblock is high enough for me; I’m waiting for Coppertone to come out with a beekeeper’s outfit.”

Newt Gingrich will have to ponder twice whether to run for president. The decision isn’t based solely on the financial burdens.

First of all, his wife doesn’t want him to. In a Vanity Fair article written by Gail Sheehy (“Passages”), Marianne Gingrich said, “It’s not so much what he’d be doing. It’s what I’d be doing… Watching Hillary (Rodham Clinton) has just been a horrible experience.”

And then there are those pesky character questions. For example, an ex-campaign worker says she had sex with a very-married Gingrich in 1976. “We had oral sex,” said Ann Manning. “He prefers that modus operandi because then he can say, ‘I never slept with her.”’

A Gingrich spokesman, Tony Blankley, said “the subject matter is too low on the food chain to even comment on.”

He’ll likely spend the evening ripping off his T-shirts

Hulk Hogan turns 42 today.

Geffen’s gift is a real dreamworks donation

Recording guru David Geffen has donated a total of $4 million to two different AIDS organizations. “AIDS must be everyone’s fight,” Geffen, who is gay, said Wednesday. “I hope my contribution will encourage more people to come forward and give generously. In the face of so much death, it’s essential we do all we can to support life.”

They’ll never attend the same school as their nanny’s kids

Michelle Pfeiffer is so angry at New York’s public schools that she won’t send her two children there. “I resent that I can’t send them to public schools, because I prefer them not to have an elitist education,” the actress told the Daily News on Tuesday. “Yet, I want them to have the best education they can, and I want them to stay alive.” Pfeiffer portrays a Marine-turned-teacher in the film “Dangerous Minds.”

And then they all retired to the pub for a good laugh

It’s apparent that Britain’s Prince Philip doesn’t know the meaning of political correctness. On a recent trip to Scotland, the 74-year-old monarch asked a local driving instructor the following: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the (driving) test?” Philip is the same man who, on a trip to China in the 1980s, noted that the locals had “slitty eyes.”

Tom and Damon as Ralph and Ed? Homey don’t play that

People magazine reports that producers of the forthcoming movie “The Honeymooners,” which is set to star Tom Arnold as Ralph Kramden, rate Damon Wayans as a leading candidate to play Ed Norton.

What do you call 500 lawyers underwater? A good start

William Kunstler, 76-year-old activist attorney, performed a standup routine at a Manhattan comedy on Wednesday. “This has been my life’s ambition,” he said.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster