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Tough to please
In Thursday’s exhibition between Minnesota and Pittsburgh, the Twins beat the Pirates 6-4 on Cory Scaefer’s two-run triple off 36-year-old Jimmy Boudreau, son of Hall of Famer Lou Boudreau.
Boudreau hadn’t played pro ball since 1986, prompting Pirates broadcaster Steve Blass to proclaim, “He should have been better pitching on 3,195 days’ rest.”
Father knows jest
Phoenix teammates Charles Barkley and Joe Kleine, the NBA’s version of Abbott and Costello, were at it again last week. Kleine missed last Sunday’s nationally televised game against Charlotte to be present at the birth of his third child, Mallory Katherine.
“I feel bad for Joe, because it’s not his,” Barkley quipped.
Sir Charles caught some heat for his tongue-in-cheek comment, so he came clean Monday.
“All the DNA tests are back, and it is his kid,” Barkley said. “She’s officially a Kleine.”
Responded Kleine: “It’s nice to have caring, concerned teammates, but I know one thing. She’s a pretty baby, and that leaves Charles’ sorry ass out.”
The birth of Kleine’s daughter came shortly after Suns coach Paul Westphal had finally settled on a starting lineup - with Big Joe in the middle. “If he loses his job because of maternity leave, we could have lawyers enter the picture,” Westphal joked.
Ah, that Boston Celtics mystique
Less than 12 hours after submitting meekly in a home loss to Indiana last week, the Boston Celtics gathered for practice and really went at it.
Xavier McDaniel led the charge, berating “Neverin-service” Pervis Ellison and kicking over a chair.
“What you saw out there is guys playing hard, but then they have no heart or guts in the game,” McDaniel said. “I mean, I go to the hole (in practice) and I almost get my head knocked off. Against Indiana, Rik Smits gets three or four dunks, uncontested dunks.”
McDaniel was told that maybe his teammates like Smits more than him. “Maybe so. I’m sure some people will be calling me a (jerk),” McDaniel said.
The Lakers went through similar transgressions last season, but have come together under new head coach Del Harris. “Guys are laughing, guys are winning, guys are getting along,” Los Angeles forward Kurt Rambis said. “It’s fun coming here again. It’s not like going to the dentist. (Last season) was the worse than the dentist. It was the proctologist.”
Just kidding
On Feb. 23, the NBA’s trading deadline, Chicago Bulls guard Steve Kerr had some fun at the expense of disgruntled teammate Scottie Pippen. “Hey Scottie, look who just walked in,” Kerr said. “It’s Christian Laettner and Doug West.”
The last word …
“We’re not the problem - and we’re definitely not the solution.”
- Marlins replacement pitcher Steve Fireovid