No Jokes, Please, These Seahawks Real Thing

Growing up in Seattle, I was exposed to many of the Seahawks’ unofficial nicknames - Seahacks, Seachickens, Seabags, Seethroughs, Sealoogies, just to name a few.

Cruel terms, no doubt, voiced by frustrated fans who witnessed one too many Dave Krieg fumbles, one too many long passes hand-cleaved by Daryl Turner, one too many welcome-mat impressions by Brian “Was That Bo?” Bosworth.

But the 1996 edition surely will be one of the better ones in team history.

Go ahead. Call ‘em the Seahawks.

Good offense, good defense, good enough to be in the playoff chase. (Warning: This observation made from a guy who watched exactly five Hawks practices, one preseason game on TV and one from the Dome’s 200 level. Friendly advice: Bet the Christmas fund, not the kid’s college fund).

Seattle, which opens the season at San Diego on Sunday, will go 9-7. Best case scenario: Quarterback Rick Mirer has big year, Hawks 10-6. Worst case scenario: Mirer is so-so, defense can’t sustain pass rush, Hawks 7-9.

Is 9-7 good enough for the playoffs? Depends on how the tiebreakers unfold.

Kansas City will be 10-6 and win the AFC West. Seattle will be knotted with Oakland at 9-7. Denver goes 8-8 and San Diego, whom many believe has a shot at returning to the Super Bowl, slinks in at 7-9.

Keys for Seattle: Surviving challenging early schedule and beating AFC West brethren. The Hawks have losing record against every division rival - 16-20 vs. Oakland, 15-22 vs. Denver, 13-18 vs. Kansas City and 15-19 vs. San Diego, Sunday’s opponent.

Other division winners: surprise, surprise, surprise. … New England in the East (sorry Buffalo, Indy) and Pittsburgh in the Central.

Team that could shock the AFC: Oakland, an undeniably talented club that must learn to play together.

Coach closest to the unemployment line: Oakland’s Mike White, who better fuse talent into results or Al Davis will circulate the pink slip.

Sure sign of AFC’s mediocrity: Houston has reasonable shot at making playoffs.

Team that will go to the Super Bowl: Pittsburgh.

Team that will lose Super Bowl: Pittsburgh.

After years of the same NFC storyline - Dallas and San Francisco - there’s a new favorite. Green Bay will win its regular-season game at Dallas. Green Bay will win the NFC Central. Green Bay will win the Super Bowl. Green Bay fans will do “The Macarena.”

While most are dismissing the Dallas Cowboys, remember they play in a division with Philadelphia, the Giants, Washington and Arizona. See a contender in that bunch? Cowboys go 11-5, win the East but lose in the playoffs. Packers fans declare national holiday.

In the NFC West, read the above paragraph, inserting San Francisco instead of Dallas. Niners go 11-5, but lose in the playoffs. Being a Rams’ fan, I declare a national holiday. Team on the rise: Chicago.

Team that could shock NFC: Minnesota or Detroit.

Team with coach in trouble: Giants’ Dan Reeves, who might actually blame himself when team goes 6-10.

So here’s the only thing that matters: Green Bay 34, Pittsburgh 17, on Jan. 26.

The Seahawks, not to be confused with the Seapigeons this year, will have to settle for watching the game on TV. Just like Krieg, Turner and Bosworth.

, DataTimes