Work, Self-Discipline Are Both The Route And Destination

I liked Don from the start.

I was late to show him a rental but it didn’t matter. He crawled through the window and showed himself. I like that kind of ingenuity.

Don (that’s not his real name) was a student with a wife and a job at the time he became my tenant. It didn’t take long, however, before a child was on the way and the family was living on welfare and student loans.

Don called it “funding” and he justified not working with his belief that society should not require a student to work.

Drugs, the deterioration of his marriage, and three kids soon followed. School wasn’t going well, but Don stayed on welfare. Said a father’s place was at home with his children.

His wife left, school was forgotten and Don continued on welfare. His tiny check was too small to pay the bills so I gave him carpentry jobs in exchange for rent.

Try as I might, I could not get him to find a regular job. He didn’t see the point. After all, his ex-wife would get half of his check, and he’d be damned if he’d allow that to happen - as long as she had the kids!

Besides, he had a drug problem and had had a dysfunctional childhood. How could he be expected to work? He did, however, become an expert at hitting up charitable organizations for free food, rent and firewood.

Then there was counseling. Don went at it with gusto. He attended parenting classes religiously. Alcoholics Anonymous took two afternoons per week. Veterans support group another afternoon.

One counselor told him he couldn’t hold a job because his self-esteem was too low. For $60 per session, she would teach him self-esteem. It would take two years.

I realize I’m just an old roofer, the son of an old plumber, and I’m not supposed to understand these things, but something’s not quite right.

I liked Don’s work and wanted to hire him full time. But how could I? He couldn’t work a full day due to his counsellng commitments. Besides, he suddenly remembered that he’d been sexually abused as a child. He was 33 years old and didn’t remember a thing until the counselor brought out his “repressed memory” - and gave him another excuse to fail.

Don hit bottom about two years ago. His family had been gone over a year and he’d been jumping through hoop after hoop to get them back. At that point, his depression was real and the drugs and paranoia were getting worse. Worse yet, he started hanging out with teenagers and younger kids. One child, the son of a girlfriend, started asking questions about sex.

Having served several months in jail once for a felony he committed while intoxicated, Don should have avoided this kid like the plague. But a counselor told him it was OK to talk with the boy. He even took the youngster to meet the counselor. When he broke up with the girlfriend, she complained to the police.

Don is a poor, unassuming Indian with a felony on his record. Prosecutors must love this profile, because men like this are so easy to convict.

With barely an argument, Don signed an Alford plea and was sentenced to a year in jail for “communication with a minor for immoral purposes.” Translation: talking to a kid about sex.

I don’t know if it was luck, divine intervention or just good justice, but the judge did Don the biggest favor of his life. He gave him a choice between jail and work release - and eight weeks to find a job.

I worried in vain. Don found and lost two jobs. However, the day before he was to report to jail, he was hired by a company that deserves an award for its willingness to give a man a chance.

It’s been about six months. Don’s had one pay raise, paid off his traffic tickets, regained his driver’s license and will soon have his commercial driver’s license. His electricity, off for several months for nonpayment, is back on and he’s catching up on his rent. More remarkable, however, is his character growth.

Don gets a leave once a week to take care of his house. I usually visit during this time, and when we’re not repairing broken plumbing (he didn’t drain his pipes for the winter), we drink coffee and visit.

For the first time since I’ve known him, he realizes that life is never fair and that he cannot use this as an excuse to fail. For the first time in his life he understands the value of work and self-discipline, and realizes society did not conspire to deprive him of the good life - he did it to himself.

He understands, I hope, that we create our own success by our attitude, work ethic, character and personal skills.

The test will come when Don is released. When the old crowd discovers that he’s working full time and has money, he’ll be surrounded by more friends than he knew existed. Will he make it? Will he have the resolve to walk the straight and narrow without the state looking over his shoulder?

I’m betting that he will.

MEMO: Street Level is a regular feature of the Roundtable page. Jim Shamp is a member of The Spokesman-Review’s Board of Contributors.