Second Opinion Worth Considering

Dear Readers: At least 5,000 letters have arrived asking, “What is a Michigan handshake?” It’s a firm, no-nonsense grasp that means “goodbye” and lets the recipient know you really mean it.

Dear Ann Landers: I am a faithful reader and am often amazed at the incredible job you do of educating, supporting and occasionally straightening out your readers. Now and then, however, you fall short.

Your advice to “Palm Desert” needs to be rethought. She said her husband, “Clyde,” had propositioned her 47-year-old daughter. Apparently, the man had done nothing inappropriate in their 35 years of marriage, but he had suffered a stroke two years before he made the pass. His neurologist, however, insisted that Clyde knew exactly what he was doing.

Ann, it is very likely that Clyde’s poor judgment was indeed due to his stroke. Neurologists generally are not trained in brain-behavior relationship, just as counselors are not trained in the physiology or pathology of the brain. Clyde and his wife need the services of a neuropsychologist. There are many “walking wounded” out there who have been pronounced OK by a neurologist. Then, the patient suddenly behaves in a bizarre manner and everyone is shocked.

Please, Ann, you reach millions every day. Tell these family members of stroke victims to seek the help of a trained neuropsychologist. They can call the American Psychological Association or the National Academy of Neuropsychology for a specialist in their area. - Ph.D. in Ventura, Calif.

Dear Ventura: Thanks for the input. And now I’ll probably hear from dozens of neurologists saying they are better qualified than neuropsychologists to make this kind of diagnosis. The readers now have opinions from both sides and can make their own decision.

Dear Ann Landers: This is for “Bottomed Out in Detroit,” who thinks he has changed more diapers than any other man in the world. It appears he wants special recognition for this outstanding accomplishment.

If more men were involved in caring for and raising their children, this would not seem like such an extraordinary feat. Women have been doing it for centuries with very little or no recognition.

So let’s hear it for all the women who have cooked the meals, done the laundry, cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, painted the bathrooms, sewed curtains and clothes, assisted with homework, done the marketing, helped at school functions, coordinated the kids’ parties, shopped for Christmas and birthday gifts, done the banking and bill paying, decorated homes, weeded the garden, took care of the family pets, handled repairs, nursed the sick, soothed hurt feelings, chauffeured the kids to sports, dance classes and music lessons, provided all or part of the family income - and also changed diapers. All this after carrying the baby for nine months and then giving birth, which is not exactly a day at the beach.

Changing an estimated 15,000 diapers doesn’t look so awesome in the overall picture. So, “Bottomed Out,” instead of looking for glory, turn to the women in your life (your wife, mother, sister, grandmother) and say thank you. Not only do they deserve it, they have earned it. - Accolades to the Women From Out West

Dear Out West: That deafening racket you hear is the applause of millions of female readers. Thanks for the well-earned accolades.